sexual narcissist

poem by Lysz Flo

He talks to me about sexing me
Like I didn’t start the conversation
Like I wasn’t the lighter that gave him permission
Like I am not flood gates and dam
Like he hasn’t been chosen 

I listen to him carry on
Telling me he will make me feel good
That he will last all night 

As if I weren’t the blessing
As if he has not been the fiend
As if I am not prize and the race
As if I am not the conqueror 

I do not engage further
with his contextual overflow
embellished with desire
He wishes to hear me moan
as if I don’t prefer to hear them made myself

As if I am not my own sexual playground  

I am a sexual narcissist
Serving in order to receive
Giving in order to take
Looking to be pleased
just so I can feel satiated

To feed my erotic ego

He thinks
I envelope my lips around his brain
for his own
Delectable desires 

When it is
out of my own selfishness

Coercing surrender
You are not yourself
when you’re with me
Those groans are mine
Those body twists and
toe curls carry my name

What can you tell a woman
who loves the sounds
of her own moans 

Willing to be worshipped
as he takes bended knees
becoming my throne
Drowning in my cunning linguistics  

            B r a i l l e
                                                                                          On my skin

            naked incantations
keeping me
coming back
for more

A reminder
To my salacious sanctuary 

A lust breathing dragon
I stay hungry 

I look at them 

Crossing the street
In the grocery store
At the gym 

Lips licking
Eyes deciding
Mouth desiring
Mind wondering  

What does your mouth do
When warm skin envelops it? 

How long
do you last
in trying to prove a point?
Can you really
put me to sleep?

Strong Jaw
          my favorite 

Sometimes I don’t need to know your name
Until I am made to scream it
No conversation beyond

How you moan
Crosses my curiosity
As you stand beside me
in the supermarket
On the elevator
At my desk 

Is there another reason for a strong back
Besides my pleasure
Maybe I am a sexual narcissist 

Silently observing each body
Envious of their tight shirts
Drinking in their delectable confidence
Coveting their Adonis style walk
Immersed in the intensity of their gaze
Reflecting myself on impeccable beards 

Will he surrender?
Drop to his knees and submit
To the pleasures of a Goddess? 

My hands belong
wrapped around his ego
I belong
on top of his face
I deserve
to be contorted
into my favorite position 

I can’t help
this objectification

"Lysz Flo" is a trilingual writer of fiction and poetry focusing on self love and women’s empowerment. She initiated her spoken word performances in September 2015. She has performed throughout South Florida including the RAW Miami Showcase. Lizz has self published her first poetry chapbook Jan 2019.