here lies two poems by Juliette Sebock
*TW/CW: suicidal ideation*
I wish I could go back to college but I also wish I never had
I wish I could go back to college
because my best friends were approximately
49 seconds
and
4.9 minutes
away from where I sat in bed.
I wish I'd never gone to college
because I'm pretty sure I'll be
paying back loans
long after I'm
dead.
I wish I could go back to college
because class with a
particularly attractive professor
was reason enough
to get out of bed.
I wish I'd never gone to college
because another man
truly
made me wish
that I
(or he)
were dead.
*TW/CW: PTSD/flashbacks to domestic violence/sexual abuse*
Apocalyptic Aftershocks
Every time I think of you—flashback,
the world goes black—it's like the world ends
all over again, like an REM song
stuck in my head, not feeling fine, reminding
me that you're still somewhere,
even if that somewhere isn't
ruining my life.
I've built up my Gilead,
balm for wounds deep in my chest, in my head,
until I lie in bed, close my eyes, and feel it
starting, the world ending,
nightmare,
apocalypse
all over again.
Juliette Sebock is the author of Mistakes Were Made and has work forthcoming or appearing in a wide variety of publications. She is the founding editor of Nightingale & Sparrow, runs a lifestyle blog, For the Sake of Good Taste, and is a regular contributor with Marias at Sampaguitas. Currently, she is curating the Screaming from the Silence anthology series and working on a variety of personal and freelance projects. When she isn't writing (and sometimes when she is), she can be found with a cup of coffee and her cat, Fitz. Juliette can be reached on her website or across social media.