here lies a poem by AAA
TW: rape, sexual assault, physical assault
The betrayal still stings.
I don’t blame you for when he locked the door despite our desperate protests
or when he tried to push me down on his twin bed
or when he dragged me back by my ankles as I tried to escape.
We were both just grateful to the gods
that we managed to get away,
so scared that we did not talk about it for days.
I blame you for when I finally found my strength,
strewn among the shards of shame and disgust scattered in my brain,
you discouraged me, you downplayed it,
you did what so many of us do to survive:
You chose to forget.
Honestly, I blame myself too, for swallowing that pain
and letting it become a part of me.
AAA is a poet and author who dissects everyday situations in order to find clarity about life’s most painful and beautiful experiences.
Check out their instagram.